Fall-Winter 2021 Part 2 - Starting Work on "The List"

The Front Entryway Ceiling

Even before I retired my wife, Pat, had created “the list” of things to be fixed or replaced around the house.  I decided to start with something that looked pretty easy: fixing the front entryway ceiling and its peeling paint and missing light cover.

It probably would have been easy had I not decided to pressure wash the ceiling before painting it, not realizing it was made of drywall and not wood.  So, after damaging the drywall with all those bursts of water, the job became a major spackle and paint job instead of just a simple spackle and paint job.

Ultimately, I got it done, although I never really got the spackle very smooth.  In the end, after a couple coats of paint and replacing the light cover, I deemed the effort “close enough for government work” and declared victory over the first list item.

Painting The Bricks

Another “list” item that looked pretty simple was painting the “faux bricks” that frame the garage.  As it turned out, with the right brush, this task was pretty doable.  Tedious and time consuming, but very doable.

After painting the garage bricks, it was obvious the pillars on either side of the front sidewalk--also being “faux brick” and also attached to the garage—needed to be painted as well.  This is what is sometimes referred to in the engineering world as “scope creep.”  Much more of it will show up in subsequent projects.  In any case, in the end, the brick painting included the garage, front pillars, front window sill and front wall of the house.

The Front Door (Part 1)

Yet another thing on Pat’s list of things was to replace the front door.  The old metal door that was installed in 1984 with the house had rusted quite a bit at the bottom.  The rust was likely aided by some “bad” cats we’d had who felt the need to “mark” the front door, which would probably make sense for a cat.  At first, I thought I could just sand down the rust, maybe add some filler, paint it et voila: just like new door. 

I was mistaken.

After maybe an hour or so of that and seeing how bad the rust was, I acquiesced: we needed a new door.

Front Door Before

Front Door Rust

Of course, I figured getting a new door would be easy.  Just take some measurements, pop down to Lowe’s or Home Depot, pick out a door, unscrew the hinges from the old one, screw the new one in et voila: brand new door!

I was mistaken.

My first surprise was that not all doors that are the same size are actually the same size.  And the hinges and door knobs are in different places, as well.  Ok, still not bad.  Get that new door, do a little chiseling and carpentry to get the door to fit and get the indentations for the hinges and doorknob in the right places et voila: brand new door.

I was mistaken.

First, nobody sells just doors any more.  They mainly sell the entire frame with the door inside, thus requiring masonry work to get the door installed, but avoiding the chore of getting a new door to fit in the hole where the old one was.  Apparently, there’s some unique Florida hurricane code that requires the entire frame to be replaced when you replace a door.  Or maybe they just raise your homeowner’s insurance if you only replace the door.  Florida insurance companies do a great job finding ways to raise your rates or cancelling your policy—we’ve been cancelled a couple times even though we never had a claim since we’ve been in the house.    Either way, when it started to look like replacing the door myself could get me into legal trouble, I stopped asking too many questions.

So, by now, I had decided to just buy a door “slab”, without the frame, and replace it myself (well, myself with help from someone I could find who knows what they’re doing).  But, to be sure I didn’t screw it up, I decided to pay Home Depot to come out and measure the door.  I figured they’d calculate where my existing hinges and doorknob were and order up a custom door designed just for me that I could just pop right in there et voila: nice new door.

I was mistaken.

When I went to Home Depot to schedule my door measurement I was helped by a kindly old gentleman with really bad computer skills.  I could see he was struggling to find our information so I peeked over at his computer screen and noticed he was typing in the wrong phone number.  When I tried to tell him what he was doing wrong I don’t think he heard me because he was too focused on typing in incorrect information.  I resisted the urge to grab the keyboard and mouse away from him and type in the information myself and remained patient until he eventually booked the $40 measurement service for 4 days later.  If I ordered the door right after that, he assured me, I should get the door by the end of the year, first week of January at the latest.

I had hoped to have my nice, shiny new door in place to show off when my brother John and his wife Carol came down to visit in January.  I now felt I had a real shot of that happening.

I was mistaken.

So the Home Depot guy showed up for my $40 measurement and, interestingly, his numbers were the same as the ones I had taken.  Now though, I figured, they could make my custom door and everything would be awesome.

I was mistaken.

He first informed me the doors are cut in a standard way and the hinges and doorknobs are always put in the same place (and, of course, would not match my existing ones).  In other words, regardless of the measurements, I’d be getting the same size door.

Next, he was ready to schedule my door installation and got kind of pissed off when I said I’d install it myself.  Even more so when I told him I only wanted a door (a.k.a. the slab) and not the frame.  Just to get an idea of what I’d be looking at if I wanted a professional install, I asked what it would cost to install the frame and all.  The answer was $1000, which was more than the cost of the door.  So I asked how much for the easier job of just replacing the door slab.  The answer, $1000 (maybe any Home Depot installations have a minimum charge of $1000).  I told him I was still leaning towards just doing the install myself but asked if I could have a copy of his measurements or if he could send it to me.  He replied no, he couldn’t do any of those things but I could take a picture of his write-up before he left (which I did, as you can see it below).

What I got from Home Depot for $40

The Home Depot guy was hopeful I'd pay the $1000 to have them install the door

I wish I could say that was the worst $40 I ever spent but, in reality, it probably doesn’t rank in my top 1000 worst uses of money (and most bad uses pissed away a lot more than $40).

Still, all was good.  I could go back to Home Depot, order my door and hopefully get it done early in the new year.  And I had been watching all kinds of You Tube videos on how to install doors and it didn’t look that tough.

When I ordered my door measurement from the kindly old computer-illiterate man I got his business card and was sure to ask him what hours he worked.  Since he told me he came in at 3, I was sure to be there before 2 to order my door.  So the ordering—with someone different—went really smooth.  That was, until they told me the expected delivery date was March 8.  What happened to January??  I guess it was those pesky, COVID-related supply chain issues.  Maybe I could have the door in by St. Patrick’s Day instead of New Year’s.

Oh, by the way, on my way out of The Depot I saw my fumble-fingered friend coming in for his 3 p.m. shift.

I’m sure you can’t wait for the conclusion of this front door story and you’ll find it in the spring 2022 section (yes, this escapade actually spanned 3 seasons).