Spring 2022 (Part 4) - The Case of the Overflowing Gutter (and more)

Pressure Washing Nearly Four Decades of Filth

For years, I’ve had various pressure washers that have met various fates.  For some reason, I’ve always bought electric, rather than gas, ones.  I guess I figured it was easier to just plug one in rather than have to add gas, maybe oil, etc.  Plus, the gas ones I’ve used were actually too powerful, often ripping the paint off along with the dirt if you weren’t careful.  Several people questioned the wisdom of spraying a bunch of water from something that was plugged into an electrical outlet, but I never had a problem in that area.  Not even when, a few years back, this one electric pressure washer that tended to “walk” a bit from the vibration rolled right into the pool while I was cleaning our screen porch.  That one did not work after that.

Recreation of my old pressure washer falling in the pool

I first bought a pressure washer a few years after we installed the pool in the early 2000s.  At some point I had realized that we needed something better than just a hose to keep the deck and porch beams clean and didn’t want to pay someone to wash them.  Pressure washing the porch actually was a lot more difficult and time-consuming than you might think--especially trying to reach those high beams over the pool that make up the roof. 

One time, years ago when I was working, Pat decided to do me favor by hiring some redneck to wash the porch and deck.  Her best friend had recommended him.  After completing the job, he apparently asked Pat if he could take a quick dip in the pool.  Being nice, she, of course, said yes, after which he stripped completely naked and jumped in.  We did not hire him again.

Depiction of guy Pat hired to pressure wash our porch

In March, I was pressure washing the porch when the unit crapped out.  It seemed it could possibly be fixed by replacing a part or something, but I just bought a new one.  I actually had some big pressure washing plans, so I figured getting a new one made sense.  I gave the old one to my brother Walt who, unlike me, is handy, and easily fixed it and might still be using it to this day.

In my endless quest to buy American products, I searched quite a bit and eventually purchased a Sun Joe model.  The company lists offices in New Jersey and California, I think, so I chose to believe they were an American company.  I think they may have been purchased by a Chinese entity or, at least, did manufacturing in China but I ultimately decided that a company with U.S. offices would have to be “close enough for government work.”

My new (possibly Anerican) Sun Joe pressure washer

After I finished cleaning the porch with my new device, I took on the job of pressure washing the driveway and front sidewalk.  They likely had never been cleaned since the house was built in 1984.  I figured it might be a 2 or 3 hour job, but I am really bad as guessing how long things will take (just ask Pat about my timeliness).  Three days after I started, I was exhausted and had sore muscles but I had finished washing the driveway.  I’m not sure when I’ll take on that job again.  Maybe in another 40 years.

Testing the new pressure washer by carving a whimsical 'K' into 40 years of filth	The driveway before pressure washing	The driveway after pressure washing (was it worth the effort??)

Bathroom Mold Check

Years ago, we had a small leak in the master bathroom that required a bit of repair and replacement of plumbing and fixtures in the shower and a small amount of work to remove mold.  Since then, rechecking the bathroom for mold has been on the “to do” list.

Now with time to look into this, I did some research and found a pretty cheap mold detection kit that had good, real-world reviews (not just the fake Amazon reviews) from people like Bob Villa of “This Old House” fame.  If someone who was on TV endorses it, it must be good, right?

I ordered one (on Amazon, of course) and found it was pretty easy to use, as advertised.  You just apply the provided tape to the walls in the areas you want to check, then place the tape in a container and mail it to a lab using the included package. 

The results showed a minimal amount of a couple things, but nothing of real concern.  We addressed the issues with better ventilation and some cleaning.  Writing this reminds me I should re-check the bathroom for mold again.

Our DIY mold test results with Bob Villa-endorsed product

Time to Retire the 5x Champions Flag

Proudly displayed next to the twin date palms in the corner of the porch was a tattered, long-obsolete Patriots 5x Champions flag.  I actually have a bit of Patriots championship memorabilia that has become obsolete due to the success they used to have.  There are the 3x champions T-shirts and commemorative ball, as well as the “Wicked Fourth” T-shirt, among others.  

Pat was pretty happy I finally suggested replacing the old flag.  Now, you’ll find that spot containing one of Pat’s numerous seasonal garden flags.  I didn’t forget the Patriots, however, as an up-to-date 6-time champion flag now adorns a wall in the porch.  The way the Patriots look these days, I might not need to update that one anytime soon.

The old, worn, obsolete Patriots 5x Champions flag	Pat's seasonal flag replacement	The new 6x Champions flag now adorns the wall  (this might not become obsolete anytime soon)

Night Out in Cape Canaveral

Retirement also afforded time for fun stuff, too.  When my friend Jim’s wife was out of town for a weekend, we decided to go to a comedy night at the Oceanside Distillery in Cape Canaveral.  Getting in was a bit annoying, as, rather than just buying a ticket at the door, you had to download an app, set up an account, THEN you were allowed to pay your $20 to get into the show.  Luckily, I was in a good mood and not annoyed enough to just leave.  Attendance also came with a one drink minimum, which is typically one more than I would have when I’m driving.  I figured the show would last long enough for me to nurse the one drink without risk of too much damage, so I order what wound up being a very tasty “craft” Moscow Mule.

I’d give the comedians a mixed review.  A couple local folks were the opening acts and they provided a few laughs.  The headliner was a pretty funny guy who performs on Carnival Cruises (I should have made note of his name, but I didn’t).

Oceanside Distillery hosted a Comendy Night (with a one drink minimum)

After the comedy show we went over to a bar at Port Canaveral (once again, I probably should remember which bar, but I don’t) and saw a really cool cover band, The Garden Gnomes (I do remember some things).  They did an interesting mix of covers of bands like Rush, The Who, The Monkees and Pink Floyd.  I’d definitely like to see them again.

The Wicked Garden Gnomes are a really cool cover band we saw at a bar at the Port

Just before we left, I saw a guy sitting near the front who I thought looked a lot like former Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Bruce Arians.  You might remember he was their coach when Tom Brady won him a Super Bowl ring (Arians’ best coaching move that year was letting TB-12 run everything).  I was going to congratulate him on the Super Bowl win but I just hadn’t had enough alcohol to overcome the likely embarrassment I would have faced if this happened to be a random 70-year old guy in a stylish driving hat rather than a Super Bowl Champion coach.

Former NFL coach Bruce Arians might have been at the same Port Canaveral bar Jim and I were at

Trimming the Neighbor's Tree

After trimming all the vegetation in our yard in the months after I retired, at some point I decided to set my sights on a neighbor’s tree that was hanging over our fence and into our yard.  I’m not sure what kind of tree it is, but I know it had grown to the point that its branches were running into those of our Norfolk Island pine.  Further, I knew that encroaching tree was dropping these nut-looking things into my yard and, left to their own devices, would sprout little trees amidst my grass.  Lastly, those long branches stopped some afternoon sun from reaching our pool and somewhat blocked my view of the sunset from the porch. 

Of course, our tree blocked some sun, also.  But these twin pines have been in our back yard since they were potted plants transplanted to replace a hurricane-felled oak tree in the mid-2000s and I wasn’t inclined—or maybe even able—to cut those back.  On the other hand, I knew I had the right to cut any neighboring limbs that were overhanging the property line, plus I have this really cool telescoping saw that can reach really high.  So, lots of cutting was done and I’m enjoying a little more sunshine in the pool and fewer nuts on my lawn.

Trimming the neighbor's tree (again, forgot a before picture)	Significant removal of limbs that used to reach our pine tree

A Real Engineering Fix - Making the Gutters Work Correctly

In one or more of my previous rants, I believe I discussed the sometimes disappointing job Paradise Pools did when installing our pool.  The disappointment came from issues like their killing a really big oak and annihilating our irrigation system.  I also mentioned the problematic screen door that had taken me about 19 years to notice and figure out.  Turns out, the door wasn’t the only “trouble with Paradise” that took me nearly two decades to find.

For years, when sitting on the porch enjoying the theater of one of our famous Florida deluges, I noticed that, after a few minutes of rain, water would come pouring out the side of one of the gutters that sits between the screen part of the roof and the solid, flat porch roof.  The non-screen roof was actually at the border of the original porch before we had the porch expanded to accommodate the pool.  In any case, the rain water would pour out like a mini-waterfall onto the cool-deck below.  Over time, some areas of the deck where the water hit even became a bit damaged.

Simulation of what my gutter looked like during a heavy rain (Adobe stock photo)

Although this was not a critical problem, it probably became more of a priority for me since I was now seeing the problem more often.  Since retiring I had become a real “porch lizard,” spending a lot of time out there after a swim or when just enjoying a snack and a beverage.

Actual porch lizard checking out my Lost In Space Robot	The porch lizard gets his close-up

With my new abundance of time, I set out to really investigate the case of the overflowing gutter to see if I might be able to solve this mystery.  What I figured out was that, when they installed the pool and screen porch, they had eliminated one of the downspouts from the corner where the original porch joined with the house (this corner was now inside the larger screened-in area).  With one fewer downspout than the house had been “engineered” for—I’m sure the builders did a big fluid dynamics study to ensure the water would drain properly—it made sense that the gutter would no longer have the capacity to handle a sudden downpour.

When I went on the roof to investigate further, I found that the intersection where the old downspout was removed simply had one gutter laying on top of the other with a small hole drilled in it to allow water to flow from one to the other.  However, since the hole was small, water couldn’t move fast enough to clear the gutter before flowing over the sides.  In addition, that junction would be prone to catching debris and further impeding the flow.  On top of that, the place where the gutters connected was not sealed, allowing water to drip straight down onto the deck.  As it turned out, that’s where the deck had some damage.  Other than that, the gutter installers did a fine job—the problem would only occur if it actually rained (and Florida averages 300 days with rain per year).

This often-clogged hole was supposed to carry all the water from this  gutter	They just stuck one gutter on top of the other

Gutter leaking from downspout	Yet more gutter leaks

So now the cold case of the overflowing gutter was solved.  All that was left was to figure out how to fix it.  I considered all kinds of crazy plans like running a second gutter underneath one that was already there or maybe recreating the downspout and somehow routing the water out of the porch.  After a bit of consultation with several “advisers” (i.e. my brother Walt and a couple friends), I decided to just widen the hole where the gutters meet, then blast a whole bunch of caulk everywhere to, hopefully, plug the leaks.

Widening the hole from up on the roof was a little harder than I thought (isn’t everything) since you couldn’t really use a hacksaw inside the gutter, but I eventually figured out I only needed to use the part of the saw that actually cuts (i.e. the blade).  Caulking the end of the gutter was yet another struggle for me, as evidenced by the pictures, but, eventually—after many reapplications of sealant--I achieved a nearly leak-free gutter.

Gutter after the big  engineering  fix	Not the best caulking, but it blocked most of the leaks

But my success was short-lived.

A few months later I found that the improved flow from the two gutters emptied just outside the screen door, by the corner of the house.  However, the drain that runs under the cool-deck on the porch also drains to that same spot, thus creating a giant puddle during significant rains (which occur about every day or so in the summer).  Maybe that’s why grass never really grew in that area??

In any case, my solution to this problem was to buy another 10-foot straight downspout pipe and route the water from the corner spout further away.  This prevented the giant puddle, but created a new one where the gutters now emptied out—who could have seen that coming??  To solve this, the final piece in the gutter reconfiguration was added: a row of more crushed stones along the house that would hold most of the water.  My brother Walt told me I had created a “French drain” which, apparently, is water running into rocks (which is probably what I would have called it).

Gutter extension and French drain - the final piece of this gutter engineering puzzle	French drain from inside porch	After a while, grass grew back where the puddle  was

So that was it, my proud feat of real-world engineering—not the non-real-world software engineering I’d done all my career—was complete.  Water was flowing through the gutters, not overflowing the edge or puddling up in the yard.  There was, of course, the aforementioned, leaks where the gutters join that I patched maybe 10 more times until about 99% of the leaks were stopped.   A job way “good enough for government work.”

Another Gutter Fix

Feeling like I was kind of on a roll with the gutters, I took on the much smaller challenge of replacing another gutter’s end cap that somehow was completely chewed away.  The hardest part of this task was finding the right size replacement which I located, somewhat surprisingly, on Walmart.com.  It might have been the first thing I bought at Walmart in 10 years or so.

Gutter with hole in end cap	Gutter with new end cap